Dear Abby: My partner only wants to have sex if it’s a threesome

Dear ABBY: I am in an open relationship with my partner. We both enjoy hooking up with other people, but only if we agree on the person. It was going great; I still have my one-on-one time with my partner. But now it seems that instead of only making love to me, the only time he wants to touch me is if someone else comes along. What is the best way to approach him about this? Should I suggest we stop inviting people over for that kind of fun? – LADY ADVENTURER

DEAR MADAM: Your partner seems to have lost interest in one-on-one intimacy. If so, you need him to own up so you can adjust your life accordingly. Healthy relationships, open or closed, involve honest communication. If you are unhappy with the way your relationship has turned out, you have every right to say so.

Dear ABBY: I am 58 years old and a recovering addict. I used drugs and alcohol for over 30 years and now I am 20 months clean, thank God. Throughout my addiction, I had one friend who was my strong supporter. I always considered him a friend as he was there when I was actively addicted.

Now that I’m clean, he wants to step it up and move from friends to a relationship. Yes, I care for him, but he wants to get married without getting to know the real me first. He is a hard worker who does not drink or smoke. He just works and comes home. He is the type of man I have been looking for. Please advise what I should do. – CLEAN AND FRESH IN FLORIDA

BELOVED PURE AND ESHTAL: Your statement that this man wants to get married without first knowing the truth (I assume you mean sober) speaks volumes to me. It tells me that you are making mature, well-thought-out judgments, for which I commend you. He may be just the type you’re looking for, but hold off on marriage until you’re sure he knows and can accept the new tough and mature.

Dear ABBY: We have vegetarian and vegan friends. Over the years, when we’ve invited them over for a party, we (the omnivores) always make sure to include dishes they’ll enjoy. But when they invite guests over for dinner, they never — never — include a meat dish, not even a piece of chicken.

I’ve asked around and apparently this is everyone’s experience. Don’t you think we need some reciprocity? As it is, the hospitality rule seems clearly one-sided. If vegans are worried about (for them) inedible leftovers, they can always provide a bread bag for their guests. – OF ONE SIDE TO THE WEST

DEAR ONE SIDE: Please consider this your wake-up call. Many vegans and vegetarians do not want meat, chicken or fish in their kitchens. If, in addition to what they provide, you feel the need to consume animal protein, consume some before or after going to their home. If that doesn’t suit you, respond to their invitation with polite apologies.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.